Thoughtless
by Illustriousgiraffe
Summary: SPOILERS for TTDW! Thor contemplates what happened to Loki and wonders how he could have been so blind. He is beside himself with grief, perhaps the only person who can help him is the one he's grieving for . . . Brotherly fluff and mild humor. 1 or two curse words.


**This is my first Thor fanfiction so bear with me. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. I don't mention anything explicitly but you could infer what happens from Thor's musings. If you haven't seen the movie drop what you are doing and fly to the nearest movie theater and WATCH THIS MOVIE! it was so good. I saw it yesterday and my feels are still kind of broken. this is me trying to bandage them. **

**Thanks to the anonymous reviewer who told me of my deplorable grammer and spelling, I usually just use the fanfic spell check . . . not the best idea, I've fixed it to the best of my abilities and hope nothing else is wrong, if you see something please let me know!**

**I don't own Thor or Loki.**

**Enjoy!**

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Everything was over. No more monsters to crumble to dust. No more universes that needed saving. All that was left was silence. Only the quiet thrum of the wind accompanied Thor's lonely thoughts.

Thor hated it.

There was too much time to think. He was back on earth, back with Jane. He was happy. But now he had all this _time_ and all these _thoughts_. Loki was right, he never was one for thinking, hitting things was much easier and much more distracting.

When he was fighting, nothing mattered but protecting his people and his family, he didn't have to think about consequences or complications.

Now he was just sitting. Sitting and thinking. He didn't let his mind wander, oh no, he wouldn't want to think about . . . no, he wouldn't, he couldn't, it was too painful. And yet he could feel the taunting thoughts at the edges of his mind, smirking like Loki used to. Like they were waiting to sneak up on him.

He thought about Jane and her beautiful smile. He thought about Darcy and her strange remarks about space. He thought about the stars and all nine realms and Valhalla and Hel. All to avoid one specific thought.

He quickly ran out of distractions. There were no more detours, and all that was left was the cold, hard, truth.

The thunder god cracked. Not visibly, no, just inside.

All that was left was Loki.

The events of the past few days were swirling around him like the Aether had circled Malekith.

There was something, something tying things together in Thor's mind, all the grief and sorrow and pride and anger; Something was lying above every moment he had spent with Loki in this troubled time. It was a light in the storm of his consciousness. It was more than that, it was the eye of the storm, and he was stuck inside it. But what was it? He couldn't quite see.

What was different from when he had confronted Loki in New York? -Or at the very beginning of the trickster's betrayal back on Asgard?

Thor grunted in frustration and put his head in his hands. He felt so heavy, there was so much weight to all he had seen and done and said. He had too many thoughts; too many memories. All of Loki, of his brother.

_Brother_.

The word echoed around in his head, bouncing between his ears and beneath his eyes. Loki, -the impossible, stubborn, psychotic Loki-, had called him brother.

Not just once either. Countless times. Maybe as mockery, but previously the younger god scorned the very word, disowned himself from such a title. He had never let it pass his lips. Now Thor could see. How could he have missed it?

He had lost soo much hope in his brother that he had completely given up. In times gone past he had listened closely and hung on every one of Loki's lies, listening for that one word. But as soon as Loki had actually used it, actually _meant_ it, he could no longer hear it.

He had given up all hope, and it had blinded him, made him deaf, and now it was too late. He wanted to punch something. The god lifted a hand to his eyes, as if that would wipe away the image of his dying brother. Only after his fingers came back glistening did he realize he was crying.

He _really_ wanted to punch something.

Words-all around him, swirling, smashing, screaming, asking, asking him _WHY?_ But one word, just one was at the center of it all. Brother. _Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother . . . _

"Brother . . ."

Thor didn't know when he had started saying it out loud, or how many times he had said it. When he noticed he nearly couldn't stop himself from punching the innocent wall beside him. He immediately stopped speaking and stood up. Walking slowly over to the window of his room. Midgard was a strange place, it had such an intricate beauty, the desert scenery outside was almost enough to calm him; and the oncoming storm nearly brought him comfort, but the lingering feeling, the _word_, remained, dancing across his vision on the dusty horizon.

He had wanted to take Frigga to Midgard one day. He had planned to introduce her to Jane that way. His mother would have loved it, he was sure she had been there before, but in a different time. Humans changed so fast. Their race was ever evolving. It was one of his favorite things about the mortals.

Maybe it was because everyone in Asgard remained the same for thousands of years. Everything was set in stone or plated in gold, a golden throne, a golden palace, and a king of stone to rule it all.

Thor was disappointed in his father, his hostility towards Jane had not gone unnoticed by the Thunderer, and his attitude towards Loki was more than deplorable.

The way he had spoken to Thor after everything was possibly one of the most disconcerting things the young god had ever experienced. Thor felt an unsettling chill the entire time he stood there looking up at his father; and when the great king spoke it was so removed, that it was as though Loki had not even died, like his youngest son was living and breathing.

Didn't his father feel anything for the trickster god? He had raised Loki after all as his own son, surely that meant something.

Odin had also seemed unusually wise and calm during their encounter. As though he knew something Thor did not. He knew that Odin had sacrificed his eye for supreme knowledge and sight but often times he wondered if such effects had worn of the stone of a man.

But why was he thinking of this now? There were more important matters to contemplate than the peculiarities of his father, but just as thoughts of Loki would not be deterred, this one scene of Thor's recent past would not let him be.

What was its importance?

Thor decided then and there that if he could help it he would never think again. He could almost hear Loki's voice in his head saying 'that's impossible Thor, but I wouldn't put it above you.'

Thor suddenly saw something in his mind's eye. It was something puzzling, and impossible, and amazing. He saw a smirk, Loki's signature expression. Then he saw a softer, older smile, half upturned as if mimicking his Brother. The likeness was unmistakable. Odin had smirked like Loki on that day, or rather; Loki's illusion of Odin had smirked.

Loki could never hide from his brother.

Thor took it all in, processed it, made sure and triple checked. He was sure, he was _positive_ that Loki was, in fact, alive.

There was a moment when he couldn't really think, -which was a relief-, before it all sunk in.

Then it everything stopped, the whirlwind, the howling wind in his mind, he was safe from his mental torment. All that was left was sunshine, and all he could do was laugh. He laughed to himself not caring how mad he looked or sounded.

Ah, his brother was so very clever!

"I see you figured it out."

Thor didn't turn; his feet all at once felt like part of the floor. He couldn't even turn his head.

He could feel the green eyes slicing into the back of his head. He could_ feel_ the smirk.

He turned so he could _see _them.

"I bet you feel _very_ clever, finding out all on your own," Loki said mockingly.

"Don't ever make me think that hard again," Thor replied, smiling.

"Don't ever try," Loki said, "you might implode," he smirked.

Thor beamed, that smirk alone had pulled the thunder god away from his own destructive mind.

"I don't plan to. I'll leave that up to you."

"Well, brother, aren't you going to ask how I did it? -Or perhaps yell at me for leaving you againj?" Loki asked.

"I don't care. I don't even care what you did to our father to take on his form." Thor replied. "You will make a far better king than he did."

Loki then did something very unexpected, the raised corner of his mouth leveled out and he gave Thor and actual, genuine smile. And the Thunderer couldn't take it any more; he ran up to his brother and hugged him.

Loki didn't move, didn't cringe, didn't yell or scream or push away, he did quite the opposite. He wrapped his lean arms around his brother's wide midsection and laid his head down on the metal soft human T-shirt he was wearing.

Both of them would have been content to stay there for all of time until the universe fell in around them if the door hadn't creaked open seconds later.

The two brothers moved apart and looked to the small doorway, half expecting it to be some stray enemy bent on destroying them.

It was Darcy.

"Hey Thor do you want some panc-" Darcy started. "HOLY SHIT!" she nearly screeched.

The two gods raised their eyebrows.

Loki stepped forward, "I'm alive, Ta da!"

"Holy shit-JANE COME IN HERE! -Shit, how the hell did that happen?"

"What is it Darcy?" Jane said in exasperation, "I swear if you broke another spatula trying to make-" She stopped dead in her tracks when she reached the door.

"You're alive." She said.

"Yes." Loki said, "completely alive."

"You're not dead . . ."

"I'm pretty sure that is what is implied by 'being alive'."

"You're not an illusion?"

Loki made a playful humming noise like he had to think about it, "No. Why?"

"So I can do this!" She said, connecting her hand with his cheek.

At least, her hand would have connected with his cheek if it hadn't passed right through it.

Thor groaned, his brother was always doing this to people, "Loki . . ."

"Just having some fun," he said, appearing in his true form (probably) behind Darcy and Jane in the hall.

"When did he even . . . What?" Darcy said, utterly confused.

After Jane had overcome the initial disorientation of seeing Loki disappear and show up behind her, she turned around and _actually_ slapped him.

He just smirked, "Happy now?"

"Yes," She said with false indignity.

Suddenly a shrill beeping noise tore through the apartment.

Loki and Thor both cringed and ducked a little bit, the trickster covering his ears as well.

"What is that incessant beeping noise!?" Asked Loki.

"I think the better question would be, brother, where is that horrid smoke coming from?"

"Oh my god! The Pancakes!" Darcy yelled, running down the hall.

Jane sighed and rolled her eyes, running after her friend.

The god of lies and the god of thunder shared a look and ran down the hall after the two women. They rather wanted to see these things called _pancakes_ that could belch smoke and beep piercingly.

In the end Darcy had been able to make new pancakes and no one mentioned the throwing dagger that was protruding from the smoke alarm above the kitchen table.

They laughed and ate and healed and it was the seeming end of a long-standing disease that had attacked the two brothers.

And all because of a smirk.

**The end.**

**Please review and let me know what you think! **


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